I still remember trying to face my fear of riding a bike. Today, I am 56 and many fears have replaced that one. I was an anxiety test taker in school and needed help to feel accomplished. I was so vulnerable to the fear that raced inside of me. It stole my hope and most memories of good things that I had done. I sometimes felt like a turtle and just wanted to bury my head in the shell. After a long journey, I chose to get help. I found an awesome tutor. He was wonderful at explaining things in a variety of ways, somewhat like a math formula. You can get the answer several ways with a new perspective. Later, fear came to visit me again. It manifested in the stress of relationships. No one really prepares you for experiencing the ups and downs of love. These fears can emotionally tear you down as a person or when you learn to execute fear and you feel it build up. It was not until 10 years of a merry-go-round that I figured that one out.
It felt good to leave high school! I feel like labels stay with us from our academic years and stain our ability to be what our dreams were as a little child. Shame steps in and alters the beautiful sense we just want to feel about ourselves. I look at my first communion pictures and wish I could go back to that innocence. Then I realize I have grown immeasurably and do not want to go back in time because I would lose my wisdom. Whenever you are feeling sad or stressed, remember you are exactly where you need to be. The lesson is right in front of you. Grow from it, do not let an experience defeat you. Get a mentor who you trust to assist you to navigate through your journey and be proud of the strength you will gain from another perspective. I love the below inspirational quote:
I am not what has happened to me.
I am what I choose to become.
Carl Jung - 1875-1961 - Swiss Psychiatrist
Christine Cantilena Barnes
A licensed clinical mental health counselor, Christine has been a part of Atlanta’s professional community for over 25 years.